every morning i wake up in winter
and the world is a north pole
it was never a better place even if you lived or died
vapour leaves the harshness of my lips
smoke warms my aching lungs and my heart beats for a second
icicles of tears frozen on this face
all this space i wanted but i got nowhere to go
nothing to see on this empty road
i don’t need clothes i’m used to the cold till my bone
i see no difference between immortal men and mortal men
i see no difference between not believing and saying amen
it’s all the same over here
it means nothing over here
this is no man’s land and yet so many people stumble over here

i told my mother i have suicidal thoughts
she asked me whether i would like therapy
i told her Ma, i don’t need therapy
i just need you to talk to me

i told my mother i have suicidal thoughts
she said she cares
if you cared how come you never noticed the cuts
on my wrists, on my heart, in my brain
emotionally scarred